Author: Jake Brunton

  • Console Gaming is Dying; Games are Money First; the industry is an unrecognizable beast.

    Console Gaming is Dying; Games are Money First; the industry is an unrecognizable beast.

    I played my first video game when I was 3 years old. We had a Sega Genesis with the 6-pak value cart.

    Source: https://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/pak-six-pack-sega-genesis-complete-1792620442

    The first game I played on this was Super Hang-On. My tiny toddler brain was not really aware of what was going on, but it knew it was enjoying the images of the man on the motorcycle drifting around.

    I ended up playing this cartridge a lot (albeit, not really understanding that games had a goal, it was more of a jingle-keys to). I’d watch my dad play through Streets of Rage, and remember when I realized there was more than the first level that I had become hooked. Basically, it was a bad move on my parent’s part because I became hooked to playing games. I have been playing quite literally my whole life. Even in periods where I was more interested being a social kid and tinkering on websites and software online, I was still taking time to play flash games, Minecraft, whatever I could. It is my biggest vice, but one that I love to have.

    When you’re a kid, you almost never take time to think of things like politics, industry trends and economics. You are given many things to entertain yourself with, and for many people video games are one of those – whether you had a console or are a “iPad kid,” you were typically playing a video game at some point. And honestly, with a fully developed frontal-lobe, you can look back and realize the games as a product, as a technical interactive program, were bad. But that’s the interesting thing: your age and worldview skew perspective to wear even the most busted games would be hours of fun to you.

    This post is a diary entry, a reflection that I wanted to share for many reasons, but I was given the inspiration because of the news out of PlayStation today: https://blog.playstation.com/2026/07/01/physical-disc-production-ending-in-january-2028-for-new-games-releasing-on-playstation-consoles/. This along the recent news that the new GTA will not have a disc in its physical release, there is a lot of talk again about wanting to “own” something. I had a discussion with a friend about this to some degree and it was an interesting dissection of the industry, and I wanted to talk about all of it.

    Players and the Corporations are Symbiotic

    I want to open by noting that nothing lasts forever. Things will always change. But it is important with how (relatively) young the gaming industry is that we state with how the relationship between the player or consumer and the publisher/developer used to be. Funnily enough, we see despite being so young, this cycle is occurring in some similar way now.

    The first home console released in 1972 with the Magnavox, but the true starting point was with the 1975 release of Home Pong from Atari. Arcades were all the rage – games were a new product that the youth wanted to experience every pixel of. This grew exponentially thanks in part to Nintendo, then Sega. The industry learned quickly with the game crash of 1983 – in which we see a similar story to today in where a plethora of games released at poor quality, leading to a recession in the industry. I want to forward to my childhood era of games – for me this really kicked up with the PlayStation 2 and Nintendo Gamecube (and Gameboy Advance).

    I’ll spare the details of child-like awe (because those rose tinted glasses are a big part of why we feel the games “back then” were better), but there is still some merit in the sentiment we share about the games back in the day. 3D graphics really reinvigorated the industry, and we saw many game enthusiast become developers and publishers. Lots of games had hit in the late-90s to mid 2000’s that, by today’s standards are bare bones, were still oozing with creativity, passion and fun. Halo’s approach to sci-fi shooting in space environments with aliens and a zombie-apocalypse type threat were massive for the FPS genre. Sonic’s early 3D titles, while technically borky, were still filled with creative ideas and fun stories. Resident Evil was released, as well as Silent Hill and others that virtually created the survival horror genre as it is today.

    If you were born in the mid to late-90s, you were basically playing the establishment of the modern era of games – and it was awesome. And this is why we see the downfall of quality as they had seen back in the 80s. A young industry tends to run based on the passion of the people making the product and the excitement of people ready to consume it. 3D games was the second genesis of the gaming industry again, a sort of reset, and so we all were subject to being the young, hyped consumers much like our parents may have been in the 80s. But, industries tend to eventually default to business-first relationships with their consumers, because non-stop corporate growth means needing to change things to sustain that growth forever.

    This is why you shift towards the 2010’s and start to notice the little things be left behind. The Nintendo Powers and Game Informers – physical media covering news on video games were important pieces that fed to the gaming culture and kept players in the know, ready to get the next title. But as our consumer electronics got smarter, got hooked up to the internet at all times, people started to want content conveniently delivered straight into their new smartphones. And since we are becoming strictly business entities by this point, of course we see companies push their news strictly to websites – why spend money on printing magazines when we can save that to expand our revenue?

    Mobile Gaming takes a swing at becoming the next genesis of gaming from around 2009-2014. A lot of people who never played video games were now having micro-game experiences with titles like Temple Run, Cut the Rope, Angry Birds, and so on. This influx of new potential customers and their wants do not go unseen – companies immediately bend the knee in a chase to strike lightning and begin shoveling out low-effort mobile game apps. While it seems to do well now, a personal example I remember is the announcement of Sim City Buildit – instead of continuing the series in the environment players wanted, EA (of course) wanted to grab the casual mobile gamer market with this IP. We see this a lot in this era – people wanted to play little mobile games, so developers tried to offer watered down experiences of their popular IPs: Sonic The Hedgehog 4, Plants vs Zombies 2 immediately come to my mind.

    It’s not to say these titles are awful are unplayable – it is to illustrate the header point here: a new base of gaming consumers came to the market, so these apps were made out of profit chasing over wanting to create a fun, creative experience for the consumers. It’s a symbiotic relationship: what players en masse become comfortable with are what the publishers and corporations will gauge. Then, when the heavy hitters like Sony, Nintendo, Xbox do that, this shifts the pendulum the other way: AA and smaller studios and publishers will start to see you can get away with X and they will do it too.

    In 2017, Fortnite Battle Royale dropped. It was relatively bare bones, but it provided a unique multiplayer experience in the live service industry: drop into a map and collect resources to fight and be the last alive, all while being able to build your own cover on the fly. I didn’t get the bug until later in 2018, but Fortnite is an immaculate example of these industry relationships. It became popular fast – its Battle Pass has become a main stay in nearly every live service game at this point. Fun combat mechanics where the development team was actively engaged with the community for feedback, were providing fun little updates mid-season to change up meta and introduce whacky items. Every new season became a sort of event akin to a new DLC character announcement for Smash Bros. Fortnite has had to go through major changes over the years and it makes sense – there is a business tied to this (one of the largest game companies in the world) and live service takes money to keep going.

    It’s interesting to be close to an “OG” player because you get to watch how these changes in consumer trends and industry moves effect ongoing products like Fortnite. While the gameplay is still fun at times today, we have fallen into that sort of “mobile game” demand again. Fortnite players (I am guilt too) have always begged for collaborations with certain IPs. In 2018-2020, collabs were relatively sparse but were always a spectacle when they happened. The Thanos collab had you able to become the man himself and fight the whole lobby. Even in 2022 – when IP collabs opened the flood gates with ones like Dragon Ball – we still got limited time items, weapons, map adjustments and so on. It was solidifying the game as an ever-changing experience, driven by the world’s most popular media. That was fun!

    But, skins. The popularity of these collabs were a signal that the player base really wanted skins first and foremost. And that, again, does not go unseen. So, the knee-jerk reaction Epic has taken at this point in time is to release new collab skins almost weekly. Just purchasable cosmetics – most are only skins only with no new items, events, quests to accommodate them like before. And I truly don’t believe the player base *only* wanted more collab skins – but this symbiotic relationship is a sort of monkey’s paw.

    A consumer want was caught by business greed, and now the average game of Fortnite feels more like doing a chore. A chore that is only a little enjoyable because you get to wear your new $20 outfit (that you will replace with a new one in a week or two). The community has shared its sentiment about how modern Fortnite feels:

    Anecdotal, but there is a sentiment to be had when a product starts out with its uniqueness and creative approach, but becomes a business to sell a Roblox-like environment and skins. Epic saw players wanted more skins of IPs, they shifted focus to obtaining those, saw players still buy their product, and realized they can go ahead and raise the prices of their digital currency for said skins while laying off vital dev staff and leaving a shell of a game in its wake.

    This happens all the time in our current era of the gaming industry. Live service really did some irreparable damage, but single-player titles become effected as well. This also touches to the product aspect itself…

    Physical Media

    While it has become unfeasible to try and process a 50+ GB game off a Blu-Ray disc with a optical drive, the idea of still “owning” a disc (even if it is just a license code read or partial install package) is nice. We have had this ritual since the beginning of the industry: you buy a new game, you receive a product. The box with iconic artwork on the front – a list of details and tidbits on the back – a disc or cart with the game on it. Manuals to but…

    I would say at this point, I have become more of a PC gamer than a console one – and PC gamers stopped owning their games a long time ago. This isn’t anything new, it’s just now to a point where console gamers are getting that hit too. And I completely understand the resentment – the console was always the easy entry point to gaming for most people, and inserting a disc to play a game was the main function of that box. But we have seen Sony and Xbox try to kill out the disc over the years, and we have finally gotten the announcement today they’re done as of 2028.

    Consoles had a place in the industry for a long time because they fulfilled a need: at first, they were to bring the arcade home. Then, with 3D Graphics, they were bringing the power of modern games home and meant you didn’t have to fiddle with a PC. But, as game’s graphics and scope hit a plateau (which I feel happened around 2016/2017) and consumers were wanting for more cross-platform support, (a trend which the publishers were reluctant to do) consoles – in my mind – started to become a confusing product. Nintendo follows their Blue Ocean strategy – their consoles make sense because they simply REFUSE to publish their games to other platforms. Sony and Xbox have essentially opened their castles up at this point. At one point just about 10 years ago, being able to play the same game online on your PlayStation with people on an Xbox seemed like an outlandish idea. We had exclusives bring players to a console and build loyalty – but now those all get published to Steam as well.

    Basically, console gaming is going away – the signs have been there and they are becoming more apparent now. And the disc was always one of the things stopping them. Consoles are now essentially specialized gaming PCs (I mean, they always have been, but consumers didn’t think of it like that). Xbox gave it all up and tried to advertise that your PC, TV, and anything on the internet was “an Xbox.” It’s obvious that the shift the industry is making here is informed, but the symbiotic relationship isn’t being honored here properly. Because games weren’t just software to the large console market – they were a product. Something to share, resale, claim is “yours.” This is where things feel muddy, because it’s obvious much like the Fortnite player base, a lot of people just want to get the game content loaded in and go. A lot also want to have the physical product still – when there’s a split, it’s easier to go with the cheaper path, and Sony and Xbox are going that way.

    So, now console gamers join the PC gamers and no longer own the products they’re playing. Over-consuming of the digital landscape of games fuels the decision for suits at these big game companies to say “okay, we can take away all the ownership now” and we’re left with where we are today.

    Unrecognizable Beast

    Where we are now is an unrecognizable beast. A lot of people reference back to 1983’s game crash (like I did earlier) but this has gone beyond that. Honestly, it’s not just the games industry but the world as a whole right now – post-COVID has seen an everlasting hunger to over consume product. People fight one another to buy out entire stocks of Labubus, trading cards, Stanley cups and so on. Companies constantly promote limited edition collabs with celebrities and other brands (the Fortnite effect) almost all the time, creating artificial trends through FOMO. The overall consumer in the world has fueled part of the problem we see across industries and specifically with the gaming industry.

    This lust to consume is further increasing the lack of quality in single player and live service games, the further positioning and normalization of gating content behind DLC/premium editions, and so on. Companies need to make money and WANT to make as much as they can – when we all act like animals in our consumption, they will reciprocate by charging you more while taking more away and giving you a lesser product.

    We have a lesser, more expensive Fortnite right now. We get lesser, more expensive games as a whole. This consumption market is why we see lots of creative games developed themselves around a gacha model: Genshin Impact, NTE, Zenless Zone Zero, and so many provide fun content for free – oozing with passion, but now passionate, creative products must now still sell as a live service money generator. We are by nature partially to blame, because we ask for these types of things without realizing what a business decision will do to us as a consumer.

    This current physical media discourse keeps bringing up the line “remember when you used to buy a game, and all you had to do was put the disc in and play?”

    I do remember – and technical limitations aside – I think we forget we have asked for some of this, and need to start reminiscing – “remember when you save your game and turn it off, or when you would finish your dungeon and log out?”

    It is important to try and buy wisely. If you love live service, that is fine. But again, people who play games consistently their whole life – like me – need to be more aware. I am part of the problem! We want skins, live service packs, gachas, all while chanting that physical media is king. A suit at Sony will give you the cheap, quick money making thing you want – but they will gladly take away anything else that will save them money and take more from you.

    Just something to rant about, maybe keep in mind. It’s not blowing up, the world isn’t ending, but the current gaming industry is just in a mysterious and anti-consumer space at this point.

  • FH Dev Diary #6 – Towards a tech prototype

    FH Dev Diary #6 – Towards a tech prototype

    Hello! It has been a solid two months since I posted my last dev diary on this project. A lot of that is mostly to do with me taking some time off before immediately getting caught up in a week-long work trip, followed by a brief illness. However, while the work on the project has been at highs and lows in this period, I have been striking the iron!

    There has been a bunch of minor changes including bug fixes and tweaks, alongside some more major systems additions that will help me get to a first technical prototype for the itch.io page.

    Handling Spawns and Room Transitions and Persistence

    The first system implementation is the handling of a SpawnManager. At this point, GM2 runs as my graphics engine and compiler as I have found myself essentially wiring up systems one-by-one to craft the project in the way I want to handle it. Because object instances destroy when you leave a Room and re-create in another, the first few updates in May involved tackling this problem. The Character class originally provided logic for collision, but it now maintains the persistent data and relationships for all NPCs (alongside collision logic). Alongside that, it connects each character to the Actions system (explained later here).

    So now, characters register on instance create to the Character registry. Essentially, anytime you enter a new room or an instance of an NPC needs to show up, it can grab all of its relevant information that persists from the registry and its control from the Character and AI classes – we have data persistence without the bottleneck of GM2’s object instances.

    This also applies back to Spawning – by default, object instances load to the point in the map editor you drag them, and we must have an instance dragged in for each character. To ensure the Player and NPCs always obey the logical spawn points for maps, I set up a brief SpawnManager that reads from a script of set spawn points to override their placement.

    Farming and Actions

    This is the first major update to note from the last two months! The basis for the Farming system has begun and we can till soil, plant seeds, water, and have the crops grow day by day and eventually harvest the crop into our inventory. The basic functions all exist:

    For my testing, I can give myself two rusted hoes, a rusted can, and a HOE OF PASSION (the colorful one). This showcases the charge-up of tools like the Hoes and the progress of crop to be harvested. It’s all expected for this type of game, but I am stoked to have this system wired up to this extent!

    This surprisingly took the most time in figuring out how to fire animations and information via an input. I wrote out an ActionsManager to handle different action inputs for all the tool types. My inspiration comes from most Farm Sims, where a cursor highlights the interactable objects for the tool you have. The tricky part was the field. I am essentially working with 16×16, 16×32 and 32×32 assets – so there was a lot of fluff to figure out, but essentially the main GM2 grid runs on 16×16, and thus the cursor system uses built-in functions to draw itself in zones I preset in the map editor for the fields.

    It was a bit weird to position, but I decided to have the character snap to the adjacent center position of the cursor (which you can see in the video). This provides a better visual and I feel also helps make the process of till -> plant -> water feel much easier to control.

    Fields are going to be preset areas on your Farm only. Given the scope of the game, I felt it not necessary to have complete reign on placing field plots as needed, mostly because I need to ensure consistency when wiring the Scenes up for quests and tutorials, but I also want to leave real estate on the farm for future mechanics…

    Mapping out the Furukawa Residence

    This was surprisingly a pain-staking task as well. To reach my goal of a technical prototype and then playable alpha prototype by next year, I wanted to start level design for some of the other places that would be available. Essentially, the Furukawa’s residence, which includes the large outside map, the inside of their house, (both of which I completed this cycle), the interior shop and Mei’s room (above the shop).

    This map took a few hours and is based on the concept art I drew out by hand:

    Uncle’s shop map, sketched concept

    I have decided to patron the Kokoro Reflections tilesets. They were really kind in answering my questions and I am happy with their products so far. Importing their tilesets lead me down a path of learning about Gamemaker 2’s texture atlas and auto-scaling. I now understand the use of the texture page sizing as I spent some time trying to figure out why their tilesets specifically (the ground tiles specifically) were being stretched and ruined in run-time. It was because the source they provide for their non-RPGMaker files are massive in dimensions, and the base texture page of GM2 wasn’t able to handle that appropriately.

    So, I had to do some changes to the memory config and I decided to load up all the NPC sprites and animations into their own group as well to help ease some load times during game play.

    The inside of the house so far. The lines you see are the IDE showing the paths I have in the map. This leads into my next subject.

    NPC Schedule Persistence

    I had talked about the Scheduler system in an older post, but it was time to update it. Similar to the problem with Object Instances and data, I needed to make some tweaks to have the Schedule system seem persistent. In many of these games, all NPCs run on schedules: these are paths to follow, places to be at at X time, and so on all dependent on the day of the week, the season, the event, or other conditions.

    I am an extreme visual learner and thinker, with logic coming in second place. So with some back and forth, the current solution I found is to piece together the schedules on a room load and then send that information to the instance of an NPC so they can find out where they roughly should be for the current game time. This works great if you have static placements for characters, but I currently have functions for them to follow paths, leave rooms, and wander around.

    The SpawnManager helps with the “leaving rooms.” Instances remain with collision even if you hide them, which means I had to add a helper function that essentially moves NPCs that are “gone” from the map to a -9999 y point, and then draw them back to where they belong when needed.

    Paths are the interesting dilemma I had here. By default they work, but the problem is continuity. I found that if I entered the house, Miyuki would start her path, but if I exited and re-entered, she would re-start the path from the beginning. This makes sense, because the function Scheduler sends to the AIController was to simply follow the path asset. To fix this for now, I added some logic to these systems that reads the number of nodes on the path asset, and based on the time start of the path task and the start of the next task, we approximate which node they should be starting from on room create.

    For a path with many nodes like in the house, this works relatively well, but for a simpler path, it’s not quite there. I am thinking on if there may be a way to mathematically get the total number of in-game seconds each travel will take and more accurately start the points that way…

    Sound!

    What’s an H-game (or any game) without sounds? The big piece of the last two weeks was implementing SoundManager and getting audio assets imported in for BGMs and SFX. I have these load into memory similar to all Sprites in which we load their asset groups on GameInstance create so they’re ready to play. I wanted to future proof for the Options system – hence the need of audio groups to control gain on each one – and level design, so me (and maybe future team members?) can easily override based on certain maps to play specific tracks.

    There is an “overworld”, “custom”, and “silent” mode setting that you can use per map. I am designing an audio group to manage all background music tracks, all sound effects, one specifically for H-content sounds, and a placeholder for voice acting (if that ever happens).

    Current state of the prototype (VIDEO):

    There were a lot of small tweaks as well, and I still have dialogue writing and item wiring to go through. I’d like to release a technical prototype build on the new itch.io page by August for some initial interest building and bug reporting to help me make a more polished, playable prototype by next year!

    See y’all later and peace~

  • FH Dev Diary #5 – On Relationships, Light and more.

    FH Dev Diary #5 – On Relationships, Light and more.

    Greetings! Senpai here. It has approached nearly a full month since I last wrote about the project. Now that I have stepped away from the grindstone and am taking time to look at changes thus far, I can say there has been an laudable amount done in the last 25 days!

    NSFW warning: content not suitable for minors ahead (obviously).

    Psst: this is a lengthy and technical one. If you just want to see images and video, jump to the bottom!

    Relationship System has begun

    One of my internal to-do’s for April was to begin the Relationship System, and that is what I have done. For a while, I had formulated the base idea and then refined the process with some research and back and forth to understand what might be the best mathematical representation for relationship progress.

    Project FH under the hood calculates relationships and their interactions in a layered formula. First, the success of interactions is gated by each NPC’s “interest” stat. These are:

    • sexInt – How interested they are sexually, gates sexual interactions.
    • romanticInt – How interested they are romantically, gates romantic interactions.
    • friendInt – How interested they are in being friends – you get the picture.

    These three variables act as stats like Charisma or others would in a game of DnD – you roll based on the formula baselines of success (factored by other things) and these act as your “+3” to the roll essentially. The idea with these stats are to allow for playing with interactions in different ways to get to an outcome in some other way.

    So we will use aunt Miyuki as our beloved example.

    If her starting stats are set to relatively tame ones, such as:

    • Trust = 100 / 500
    • friendInt = 100 / 500
    • Lust = 90 / 500
    • Perversion = 90 / 500
    • Relation Level = 3 / 10
    • SOC_STATUS = Normal
    • RELATION_TYPE = Neighbors

    BUT, we set her sexInt stat to 450 out of 500, we are likely to succeed in SEXUAL interactions, as seen in the screenshots resulting from these variables:

    No AI
Project FH

    With those stats, even though we’re not Friends, Lovers, FWB or whatever, her sexual interest in the player is almost maxed out, so using Perv skills like “Show Bra” -> “Show Boobs” even up to “Paizuri” all worked.

    When we had the variables down to normal levels again, including setting sexInt to around 40 out of 500, we get an expected rejection when asking her to show her bra off:

    Senpai, why allow this possibility?

    Because it is a fun idea! My goal for the core design of Project FH is to have the personal interactions mimic real life a bit – people are not two-dimensional like most farm sim games make you think. You don’t just compliment a bunch and give them what they like. Sometimes, they may be sad or upset and even a gift they love might not help much. Sometimes, if you flirt enough or give them a “special item,” they may be willing to mess around even if you’re just Friends or even acquaintances.

    Some may even be willing to hate-fuck if they’re angry with you. The possibilities are limited realistically, but the feeling to the player is that of control on the experience. This is the type of formula that makes interactions in games like Baldur’s Gate so fun – there are obvious points of entry, but so many other ways to achieve a result!

    Other considerations for Relationships

    The overall flow, anytime you interact with a character using either a Social Skill or Perv Skill/H-Action, the system calculates in a few steps:

    Layer 1: interest stat checks.

    This uses a lerp(minChance, maxChance, stat / 500) to calculate the success or failure. This is why if sexInt is nearly maxed out, you will almost always succeed.

    Layer 2: SOC_STATUS adjustment.

    SOC_STATUS is a list of the social statuses an NPC has. These are essentially how “mood” acts in a game like The Sims. Essentially, each status adds a pre-set amount of additional chance. For example, if Miyuki is currently “Horny” but her sexInt is only 120 out of 500, you add an additional nude anywhere between 20 – 30%, making it likely to succeed.

    Layer 3: pass to updateRelation.

    The interest check determines fail or pass of the skill. Either outcome requires that the updateRelation() function increases or decreases your overall relationProgress value with the character.

    In this screenshot of the debug overlay, we see the stats and the current progression. You will notice diminishing returns with each interaction, where positive interactions stop increasing it overall after the third time – but be careful, negative ones will continue to degrade your relationship!

    Concluding the Relationship System

    Overall, I am happy that the foundations are here. I have a GML script that runs test cases to check the math, and currently had them hit all positives so far (but it funnily destroys the framerate when ran). This system will grow in scope surely as I proceed and things are removed and added from the master design. It’s really cool to see math gate the interactions and make this once dead NPC that was spinning out on a path act like a human!

    A Better DialogueManager (for content creation)

    Though DialogueManager had existed, I immediately noticed its deficiency when trying to write further JSON content to power Miyuki’s dialogue. Basically, before this dev diary, the data structure was like so:

    miyuki.json
    
    "conversations":
      {
        "miyuki_greet_default",
        "conditions",
        "priority" : 0,
        "lines": [
             lines
         ]
    },
    {
        "miyuki_horny_initiate",
        "conditions",
        "priority": 0,
    so on

    The old version was making assertions on context strictly by the NPC KEY [“miyuki”] and the skill id [“paizuri”] and using a special function to handle openings always as greetings.

    The problem with this is it was technically possible for the completely wrong dialogue to play out in any context. I realized this as I was writing the dialogue where, if Miyuki is horny and has the right entry conditions, we would offer to perform a service for you – no skill dispatch needed. However, the DialogueManager couldn’t really know about context at all here – it only knew the combination of NPC Key with Skill ID: things like greetings or special dialogue were all up in the air with little control outside of the writers having to plan each dialogue condition specifically around this design flaw.

    So a refactor of DialogueManager was done which touched other systems. However, control and content creation will be MUCH easier. The new version allowed me to remove the middle-man document that mapped all dialogues for things and let all that data – along with its context – in its respective owner’s JSON file.

    This includes nesting all dialogue under their actions/skills with variants:

    "npc_key": "miyuki",
    "display_name": "Miyuki",
    "greetings": [
        {
            "variant_id": "horny_paizuri",
            "priority": 10,
            "conditions": {},
            "lines": [ ]
        }
    so on..

    The new data structure starts everything with the action, such as the “greetings” you see. This means we now truly have an organized list of dialogues per pool for each NPC, supporting different variants and making it much easier to understand the context.

    Here we can see the result of an alternative greeting. One in which Miyuki’s SOC_STATUS = Horny, matching the conditions of her horny_paizuri greeting:

    Some other changes had to be made, as these special greetings essentially fire off an entry into the same skill-chain as if you picked “Perv -> Show Bra -> Show Boobs -> Paizuri,” but now context is passed so it can skip to where you need or control as needed. In this case, Miyuki skips the formalities and gets straight to it.

    So that took a good amount of time to refactor and get working. But I am now in a place where I feel like a blocker has been removed – I can easily write in the JSON data and make dialogue for all NPCs way easier without having to juggle the conditions vs priority for all of them.

    Let there be (day)light and menus!

    I do this weird thing where I am working on a feature in a git branch, and once I am done with it I decide to start something else in the branch. So the alphaRelationship branch merge also includes a daylight system and the beginnings of the Menus!

    Screenshots only here as I have bored you long enough with the technical talk:

    Early morning

    Daytime through afternoon

    Evening/sun is setting

    Night – late night.

    This all syncs via the current hour in the obj_clockController. GUIManager draws over the screenspace with tint and hues to mimic daylight. This will expand for weather once that gets implemented later in the year.

    Menus

    I purchased a cute UI asset from itch.io to test out some graphical menus. It’s clunky and using junk/placeholder data, but we have something to utilize when pressing the escape key now:

    Conclusion

    It has been a productive month for Project FH! I am going to finish up more tweaks and small changes before taking a decent break from it in May. I am also continuing to work with the legend Neme on art assets for Miyuki right now – including a first animation for one of the H-Actions! I will be sharing that demo video on my Bluesky Account when the time comes, so you can see the true final vision of how it will “feel” interacting with the ladies in Project FH.

    After the break, I plan to tackle getting the data for all items ready and implemented so we can expand the Menu system and begin the actual Farming part of the game. Once those pieces are done, I anticipate by late 2026 and early 2027 to have content made for more NPCs.

    My plan is to have a very very early-alpha playable version released via some means (likely to be Patreon). This is my personal goal for the build so I can start funding this project (by that, really just funding wonderful people to contribute to it).

    Like with the first dev diary, I am providing a non-committal but idealistic timeline for you to expect on this project:

    June-August:

    • Item and Inventory system v1 implemented
    • Final tweaks to Dialogue and social systems
    • Finish all dialogues for Miyuki NPC
    • Finish all dialogues for Hiroshi NPC

    September-October:

    • Official artwork for Hiroshi (just default spring outfit with a few expressions)
    • Official artwork for Mei (Hiroshi and Miyuki’s daughter, spring outfit portrait, expressions, some H-action art)
    • Content: full schedule built for all of year 1 Spring for Miyuki, Hiroshi, Mei
    • Farm system v1 implemented (for spring crops only)

    November-December:

    • Alpha main menu and settings implemented
    • Finish the early-alpha playable prototype maps (includes: Farm map, Furukawa House Map, Player House Interior, Mori Shop Interior, Furukawa House Interior)
    • Finish the Tutorial Quests and implement QuestManager

    January-February of 2027:

    • Release the first ever playable prototype. This will include:
      • Year 1 Spring ONLY
      • Only three NPCs: Hiroshi, Miyuki, and Mei Furukawa
      • Only the exterior and interior maps for the Farm Land and the Furukawa House map
      • The first iteration of the final game’s tutorial and opening scene (SceneManager put to work!)
      • Expected interactions you can do:
        • Miyuki:
          • All social interaction variants
          • Show Bra -> Show Boobs -> Paizuri
          • Show Panties -> Show Ass -> Buttjob* (if funding allows)
        • Mei:
          • All social interaction variants
          • Show Bra -> Show Boobs
          • Show Panties -> Show Ass
        • Hiroshi:
          • All normal social interactions
          • Special interaction if he is nearby when performing a Perv skill with Miyuki

    This prototype build is the current end-goal to serve as a proof of concept and get people interested/hyped about the game! I need to establish it in a way where I can fundraise somehow, as the art assets needed for the final full game (which would take a couple of years to reach) is non-negotiable for me.

    That’s all for now!

    Peace peace ~

  • FH dev diary #4 – Managing Scenes, getting assets, drawing paths

    FH dev diary #4 – Managing Scenes, getting assets, drawing paths

    Hello hello and welcome to another dev diary 4. A little over a week since the last one, but I have put in some significant progress to this week’s goals. So, the juicy behind-the-scenes screenshots and early footage you will see will be pretty different from the previous post’s.

    During this last week, I wanted to tackle two things: start exploring other sprite work assets available out in the world of itch.io to use for prototyping a “feel,” and the Scene Manager system.

    During this time, I was also working with a immensely talented artist recruited and commissioned to get a basic character sheet and usable portrait of one of the first characters you will interact with – Miyuki!

    No AI Training

    (Commission done by the talented DatNeme: https://datneme.carrd.co/#)

    Miyuki is your aunt-in-law and spends most her days operating the town’s local general store. I am super stoked to see the vision I had come to life in this way and can’t wait to get the art-train going even further as this little hobby-project grows into something more.

    Additionally, I have tried out the Memao Sprite Sheet Creator. This specific tool (which I can recommend for other indie devs needing some assets asap) helps you make overworld sprites with a variety of options. They have extended it to allow custom assets and connect them via JSON but 1) I am no artist (best I can do is draw poopy maps) and 2) I have other things to do right now. But it’s a cool little program and the style of overworld sprite is definitely the type of thing I am looking to utilize.

    The strip image imported in GameMaker is a little wonky with how it builds the cells to cut out from so I have had to manually export a sheet for each movement and its direction to avert this.

    I also set up a second room to test how rigging up additional characters, spaces, and paths feel. Also peep the debugging system – you’ll see the masking box on the sprite’s foot. This was a side implementation I did in the middle of the room test because I got tired of manually setting the masking boxes to the characters each time I change the sprites. It’s been a game changer.

    Now we move on to part two:

    The SceneManager script

    The video above at the start shows a crude “scene” in FH. This is all done by a script in run-time. I know, I know. I have heard that you can use Sequences in GameMaker, and maybe in the future that will be the best route. But for absolute control, I have taken the path of setting up another constructor that feeds off a registry file that has the nodes that build a scene.

    This registry file essentially lets you write out the structs of each node or “step” of a scene, and its main action. These are move_path, move, expression, and dialogue. Right now, my test prologue scene is using paths drawn in the room that get called by the SceneManager when it reads the structure:

    This is a view of the pathing in that room for this scene. I might re-think some of this system, because having to draw all the paths for each scene that would take place on each map seems like it will be chaos for the room editor in the future. Perhaps I’ll just set a point and have the SceneManager use the same logic from the AIController to draw a path in run-time? I dunno, but this is what I have so far.

    And it works! It’s crude, and it took a few hours of debugging other systems. DialogueManager needed to understand the difference between when it was running in a scene versus in game-time. This is because when a scene flips, the in-game clock and all AI schedules pause and stay that way till it is flagged as finished. I had it designed to work with an “InteractionManager” which I failed to account for – so there was some tomfoolery to get it all fixed. So now I can have it distinguish between in-game dialogue and scenes.

    Anyways, to cut it shorter – that’s the progress within the last week and some change. We’re moving at a good pace – once I get all these foundational systems set and polished off, I’ll feel more confident to start spending more dedicated time to writing (dialogue, characters, quests etc.).

    Peace peace~

  • FH dev diary #3

    FH dev diary #3

    ​A lot of work has been done to hmSpirit – which is now henceforth labeled as “FH” in the dev diaries.I have a ideal final name picked out, so this is the abbreviation of that! 

    Creative-front

    First and foremost, I have been actively trying to recruit the work of lovely independent artists in game-dev communities to help make some character concepts and sprite art. I have a commission underway right now for the character Miyuki who I am actively testing and building game functionality with. The post is still up, and I am still interested in artists – especially sprite focused with tileset experience. If that’s you, ring me! 

    I have just finally started a TOUCH of writing. Right now, I am in the trenches of writing the dialogue for the prologue/opening scene of the game. While I don’t plan to slack on the writing, the benefit of a game that will be 50% hentai is that the writing does not need to end up profound or anything – I love profound stories, and plan to someday make serious games utilizing them, but for now, I am enjoying being simplistic and funny with the characters and world building.

    I am not completely inept to art! I have spent a couple of hours concepting the actual in-game maps for when that endeavor is ready:

    ​This concept art is about -I dunno – 45% done? The world won’t be massive by any stretch of the word, but it will be large enough to feel like a fully fleshed out farm sim.

    Boring technical stuff

    Today, I spent a couple hours on a few things. Firstly, documenting annotation for the scripting so we don’t lose the plot when moving dialogue from script files into their JSON structures. That was small fluff but important. After that, I had worked on updating a bit of the state machines and systems in the project so far, as I am trying to get the interactions and dialogue system really nailed in before anything else. This ended up leading me to realize that Gamemaker does NOT include sprites or assets if they are not referenced anywhere in the code or other instances like rooms. So, I set up a singleton SpriteManager which meant stopping what I was doing, and refactoring how I create character objects and set sprites.

    Since the game will change sprite visuals per season, this helps with that. But it also helps with what my main goal of the day was: prototyping the flow of the H-action system. You will see it in the video below, but the idea is essentially you can get to a point with eligible characters to have lewd interactions with them (gated by AP or Action Points, of course). As such, I need to ensure that the dialogue JSON also was able to tell my DialogueManager when we need to change the character’s sprite: whether it be a simple expression change, or change to something like “Miyuki_showBra_embarrassed” or “Miyuki_paizuri_one.” So, I got that wired up.

    Some other changes since dev diary 2: the GUI and resolution settings of the game have been re-thought and are now handled with my GameInstance object on load to be consistent across the board. Also, the last update did not show the SocialMenu – the radial wheel of options to choose from for your social (or perverted) interactions. You can see everything in the footage below:

    Some other things I have been chipping away at:

    • setting up the JSON for all crops, seeds, and tools
    • planning out the rest of the game items, such as flowers, key items, and so on
    • updating project documentation
    • budgeting for the project (keep in mind, this is like a hobby’s worth of savings right now 🙂 )

    Peace peace~

  • hmSpirit Dev Diary #2

    hmSpirit Dev Diary #2

    Hello everyone~! I have a new dev diary update to share on my hmSpirit project.

    I have been pounding away at prototyping on this and am finally back with a new post to share the progress made so far! I have a decent bit of tech-facing things to discuss in this dev diary so strap in.

    While it definitely doesn’t look like much, I have made several big implementations since the last time. In dev diary #1, the footage and progress thus far only included a lot of beginner troubleshooting and getting collision rigged up. The next step for the programming front included wiring basic AI movement, which was a lot of trial and error (and to be honest, it’s still kinda buggy).

    Following the AI Controller was the introduction of the Scheduler constructor – a struct that will allow NPCs to register their instance and a pre-defined key-value pair (dictionary style) array to tell the NPC what to do. Right now, it is straight forward and hard-coded into each NPC object, and essentially tells the NPC “at this time, either follow this path or wander around.”

    Actually, I am getting a head of myself – I added a pretty simple clock system too. This may get more robust, but for now it’s a persistent object called in by my GameInstance object to have a sort of time system for the game.

    _accumulator += delta_time / 100000;
    
    if (_accumulator >= seconds_per_min / time_scale) {
        
        _accumulator = 0;
        minute++;
        
        if (minute >= 60) {
            minute = 0;
            hour++;
        }
        
        if (hour >= 24) {
            hour = 0;
            day++;
        }
        
        if (day > 28) {
            day = 1;
            
            //We count seasons from 0 to 3, cannot go over 3
            if (season == 3) {
                season = 0;
            }
            else {
                season++;
            }
        }
    }

    This is the only calculation running per step for the clock – here we simply accumulate time based on Gamemaker’s delta time into milliseconds.

    Simple, right?

    Anyways, we’re back to the Scheduler. The struct utilizes these variables:

        entry_builder = _entry_builder;
        entries = [];          
        current_index = -1;
        active_task = noone;
        next_index = 0;
        last_day = -1;    

    Every NPC builds out a schedule that is currently hard-coded in their Create code:

    schedule = new Scheduler(function(season) {
        return [
        { hour: 6, minute: 50, type: "path", value: path_npc_1 },
        { hour: 9, minute: 0, type: "path", value: test_2 },
        { hour: 10, minute: 0, type: "wander"}
        ];
    });

    The current implementation allows to pass in a path string to tell the AI Controller’s poll_schedule function if we are following a path or simple wandering around. My brain is drained right now, but I am sure we will expand on the capabilities later.

    Today’s work achieved laying out the foundations for the InteractionManager and DialogueManager structures. Having not been exposed to other farming sim game’s codebases, I was making a guess that the best approach to separate concerns here was that we needed a manager to poll and register things that could be interacted with. Basically, a system that checks each Step for things the Player can press “E” on. That’s pretty much it – this will then callback to the appropriate manager to handle further processing. In this case, the DialogueManager’s functionality gets called from the NPC’s interaction object:

    interaction = new Interactable(id, INTERACTION_TYPE.NPC, "Miyuki", function(_player) {
        global.DIALOGUE.start("miyuki", _player, interaction);
        return "dialogue: miyuki";
    });
    global.INTERACTION.register(interaction);

    This implementation session was rather educational, because it helped me discover the use of Included Files in Gamemaker. This is important because I want to be proactive and have the dialogue of the game ready for localization and prevent hard-coding text.

    As such, my current approach is a three-tiered approach of using JSON in the /datafiles folder of the project.

    Basically, the system is nothing special and typical of a localization-supported language in a program:

    • One file with all the strings matching by key for each language (string_en.json)
    • One file for each dialogue per NPC, that references the language’s matching key, no actual text inside
    • A JSON file to match the condition sets. In this case, dialogue_index.json is what puts it all together.

    These are loaded in at the start of the program and persist in memory to prevent re-opening these files and ingesting the data. I think this would be the approach for memory-management, but I am sure there will be some roadblocks once we have a bunch of dialogue in there. Oh well~~

    That’s the grossly simplified over and under of the programming work done so far on the project that leads you to the video posted at the start of this dev diary. I am very happy with the foundations I have laid out, and they’re stubbed for more features but there’s definitely a lot more work to do to make them less buggy and feel more like a professional release. All’s that to say: even though it appears like the standards, this is a good bit of work and the workspace of the project is showing that growth:

    I am of course keeping a running documentation library in my drafft-2 instance, as adding any new character or interactable requires understanding some of the code base that exist. Once I get these current features ironed out nicely, I will tackle prototyping the actual farming system. I wanted to focus on interactions and the dialogue first because this game will heavily rely on these parts to progress.

    Anything on the Creative front?

    YES!

    I have made more progress on the master GDD, finally tackling the list of characters to be made. Of course, as the game goes into true pre-production and a team is assembled, these things may change, but making a list of characters and their basic personality and appearance has been something I have been stuck on since December.

    Much like anything in life, I just had to man-up and sit down and start writing anything to get this done – and I did. I am currently happy with the list of characters I have come up with, and some of them even inspired some possible side quests and features to think about!

    Not counting the Player, there are 18 planned NPC’s – 10 of which are currently planned to get at least intimate with 😉

    I realize writing this out it seems lofty, but again – this is subject to change. Once I get in the actual flow of a production, this can drastically get slimmed down or maybe even go up! Only time will tell…

    Thanks for checking this post out. If you’re interested, you can bookmark this blog for more updates or follow me on itch.io:

    https://zero-senpai98.itch.io

    I am cross-posting these updates there as well.

    I think in the next coming months, I will considering looking at some communities to see if there are any individuals looking to collaborate on a project like this.

    Peace peace~

  • “Scarlet” review

    “Scarlet” review

    Starting last year, I made a personal pledge to see any movies that interest me in the theaters. I have historically never been really into movies, but I have gotten to the point in life where that has changed. So, whenever I see a movie, I keep an eye out on the trailers as well to see if something interesting pops up. Scarlet was one of those films.

    An original animated film directed by Mamoru Hosoda – whom of which directed Summer Wars, a weird but fun to watch anime film I enjoyed as a younger fella. The trailers for this move were well made: it had presented a growing war of two sides of a long-past era, and a modern day man who somehow gets pulled into it. I was convinced to pick up a ticket last night before it left the theaters.

    As I prefer to do reviews with a “from the top,” I will begin by saying I still have mixed feelings on this movie, but I am hovering at that 4.5-5 / 10 range. Now, let’s dive into why it’s hovering on the worse half of a “mid” film:

    The establishment of the film’s story is a gender-bent revision on Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Scarlet – the princess of Denmark in the 1600s – loves her father dearly. We are treated to seeing how his benevolence and attitude toward peace permeate and guide young Scarlet’s heart. Much like Hamlet though, Claudius (the uncle), has a thirst for power, and true to the tale, this leads to a set up in which the king is executed for being a traitor. During this scene, he shouts something to Scarlet but she cannot quite hear it – this is important to hang on to.

    Time moves forward, and the attempt on Claudius’ life is done, but the tables turn and Scarlet ends up “dying” in her attempt to poison her uncle. This whole opening is done quite fast and for good reason. It is a contextual establishment to the story and Scarlet’s motivations, and this isn’t a Hamlet movie, it simply uses the work creatively. However, while this pacing works here, it continues to be applied in the rest of the direction of the film. And this is my biggest and first qualm with Scarlet. Pacing is the enemy that destroys this film. When things should be longer, given more focus, more dram and tension, it is sped up and when moments don’t really contribute overall, they are given too much time.

    The Pacing Problem

    To provide more context, the movie truly starts in the “Otherworld,” noted as a place where life and death coexist. Scarlet awakes here and does not immediately turn to nothingness as she is fueled by her need for revenge. The movie does a montage of her scavenging old weapons, shaping them up and getting in a few fights. The pacing works in these moments because we have already seen her train with the sword – now we just need to know how she got her equipment. But then, later in the movie, what should be the build up or the rising climax is quick-cut straight to the peak, dropping any additional character or world building.

    My friend who had seen it with me agreed that he felt this movie was flip-flopping all over the place, and the pacing is the culprit for this feeling. While I was watching, I kept waiting (or hoping)for some longer scenes that had more depth and development, because every scene had the wrong pacing even 1 hour into the film. I was ultimately let down. We get important scenes of fights or drama that last at times no longer than a few minutes, while we get other scenes of peace that try to push the metaphorical narrative that get entire TRANSITIONS that last several minutes alone. I am confused about the pacing in this movie as it is directed by a long-established and award winning director.

    The Character Problem

    Scarlet is the protagonist, but we have a companion of the name Hijiri as a secondary main character. Hijiri is obviously used to serve as the “guiding light” to Scarlet in her time of being blinded by vengeance. A EMT from the modern day, Hijiri early on shows disdain towards taking a life and only wants to talk things out and heal people who have been hurt.

    The trailers for this movie made Hijiri appear as a major boon to this film’s plot, and they definitely tried to write him as that, but it seems along the way – either due to editing or production decisions – decided to give up finishing his characterization. Hijiri is for the most part dragged around to heal people and say that death is bad. When we are introduced, he doesn’t even have any establishing context like Scarlet.

    Quick tangent: this film opened Scarlet’s story with “Her Arrival” in a sort of chapter-title establishment. We would expect Hijiri to have his shot as well, but this never happens!

    Hijiri is unfortunately surmised to nothing but a romantic interest for Scarlet. He is obviously meant to serve as a narrative device, the character that helps Scarlet see the light, but this is haphazardly handled much like all other writing and direction in this film.

    My final peeve about this character: the entire movie makes the audience feel like he should not be here – they do not open up about his death until the very end. There is a character, a witch like lady that lives in the Otherworld we see when Scarlet arrives. At a rising climax battle in which Hijiri decides he needs to fight, this witch appears and is surprised to see him there. “What are you doing here? “she asks him. It makes it appear the movie is trying to say “Hijiri is not the same as the other beings here” and maybe there is something he is based off of that supports this. Maybe I am missing it. But they end his character off by revealing his death in the real world and completely drop this interesting opportunity to use him as something else – a guardian angel, a guide, something!

    The rest of the characters, primarily the evil ones, are way too cartoonishly evil. They never take advantage in combat, they all act like boisterous fools at all times (ultimately leading to their downfall), it all makes the fight and the stakes feel useless. This film could have foregone the big battle spectacle and been just the same – maybe even better.

    The Impact Problem

    The overall message that Scarlet tries to convey is that life is precious, forgive yourself and live on. This has been told before and is in all fairness an important reminder, especially in tumultuous times. And there are many metaphors, allegories and story beats to use to creatively express this message. Scarlet pulls it off at times, but the overall connected narrative confuses itself between its lack of characterization and bad pacing that any impact you could have had on the audience is completely lost.

    What should have been an empowering and moving ending felt confusing, unfinished and even a little corny. And it all could have been avoided had the previous two problems been fixed in this narrative. The movie’s connecting of the story and its themes and metaphors happen too frequently on this bad pacing that we spend more time getting bits of “think about this sort of metaphorical lesson” where the lesson is somewhat different each time. For example, early on, after they save a caravan being raided by bandits, the same caravan offers to travel with them. Hijiri willingly agrees, Scarlet begrudgingly obliges. This long scene showing them travel and live with these folk culminate in the leader talking to Scarlet, and he spits the lesson out for us: “when you’ve been betrayed enough, you start to long for someone to trust.”

    Another lesson that is important to learn, but the movie doesn’t really use it. Betrayal only came in the form of the Hamlet story and then the same cartoonishly evil villains throwing hands with Scarlet. There wasn’t enough there to make this moment feel impactful. And then it ends with a dance scene that is drawn out way too long. The impact did not happen, but the film assumes it did it perfectly and ties it off with a funny dance scene – a scene of peace for our heroes.

    The movie uses the same song as a emotional connection and Hijiri sings this song to Scarlet one night when she awakes from a nightmare. Before this, he asks what she would live like if she was in another life. This song puts her in a trance, and for about what felt like 5 to 6 minutes of film runtime was spent on her envisioning herself in the modern era dancing with Hijiri. Scarlet breaks down at this image, seeing she would have been happy in another life. This is a beautifully animated moment, but the impact is not there. I get that this was her moment of change (hence by the fact the following scene shows her cutting her hair short – a trope in many a anime when a woman shows resolve in changing). But, the movie didn’t do enough beforehand to make it seem like Scarlet was truly blinded by revenge. She wavers in her quest and ability for the majority of the film up to this point.

    And the worst offender: the ending has no impact outside of its visuals and strong acting. The ending attempts to wrap up all of these half hearted narrative points in one bundle and does so in a rush, leading to one of the most disappointing attempts at tugging on my heart strings I have ever felt.

    The Conclusion

    This image released by Netflix shows the character Scarlet in a scene from the animated film “Scarlet.” (Netflix via AP)

    The 2025 animated film Scarlet has a problem crafting a concise narrative. It opens up several branches for characters and different allegories but cuts them off prematurely or never really develops them. What is left a visually and well-acted animated film that makes obvious attempts to have impactful moments and an impactful ending, but its disservice to its own plot points and characters leaves it so there is no impact at any point whatsoever.

    This is a rare case where I believe a movie would have benefited from being longer. Had they more time to craft longer scenes to give us more info behind Hijiri, give the two more time to form a relationship, and provide more tensity building to the final battle spectacle, this film would have been stellar. Unfortunately, this is simply a visually appealing but confusing, poorly connected narrative dud.

  • Swallowtail

    Swallowtail

    Hello there, Swallowtail.
    Flapping about the branch of life.
    Could you truly tell,
    what keeps one from strife?
    I’m searching for reasons alone.
    And I cannot comprehend an ideal;
    To love or life I am not prone.
    To flap with the Swallowtail upon the hill.

    Can the anger of one destroy you?
    Or do you find yourself a peaceful bait?
    When this world seemingly defiles you,
    how much longer does patience wait?
    I’m following you now, on the hill.
    The sunlight is streaking in our eyes.
    Love and happiness like this can kill;
    we’re a delicacy to the flies.

    Swallowtail, can you tell me why?
    The innocent life in the town below.
    How come the dirty innocence cries?
    Simply because the revelation was bestowed?
    When I shut myself away from the rest,
    I am not quite sure.
    When I hide from their detest.

    O’ Swallowtail, you have a beautiful dream.
    Two friends happily pleasured in the sun.
    But the fallacy of it all falls through the seam,
    and the dream is done.
    O’ Swallowtail, you have the beautiful patience;
    that which one detests me for.
    My life ordeal is stagnant,
    and I fall through the door.

    Outcast by the species I am of.
    Outcast by the Gods up above.
    I crawl, freezing, up the hill.
    Looking for my pal, who has fallen ill.
    Please…

    Hello there, Swallowtail.
    Who is frozen on the dead branch of winter.
    Can you tell me?
    Why the life is scarred with the splinter?
    The splinter of sin?
    The outcast within?
    Swallowtail…?
    You’re carried by the wind.

    2016, Jake Brunton
    Photo by Seth Wickham on Unsplash

  • Melony

    Melony

    If I had barred my heart long ago,
    this pain would’ve left me sooner.
    If I had embraced the cold brought of the snow,
    this choice would’ve died.
    Conjugate this love again, please
    on the mountains in Nepal, I can’t find her.

    Fake burden of her illness crossed in snow
    Fake burden destroyed
    my lovely Melony.
    Fake lips coughing to the growth of the fake burden, I love you
    Melony.

    Ominous disposal of the capsule,
    why it can heal my heart so.
    Snow flaking the atmosphere on her ashes, she left my view so.
    Sleep, bring me the fake burden…

    Fake lies of lust and disgust
    Fake love and ideals separated me; Melony.
    Fake hearts switched the philosophy-
    I love thy Melony.

    If she had never made acquaintance long ago,
    pains of today would have been neglected.
    If I’d have chosen to love her,
    honest;
    i wouldn’t be lost…

    2016, Jake Brunton
    Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

  • -DEDO-

    -DEDO-

    If I could have one wish
    I would wish for an eternal sleep that brings peace.
    Because of the monsoon rain,
    I fall weak and I love it.

    If there ever was a sunny day,
    I wouldn’t know it.
    Because I am quite the weak human
    and I disagree with this life.
    I wish to fall in the lake of the city
    and let the citizens eat my flesh.

    If I could do one thing
    I would strengthen the rope that protrudes from my ceiling.
    Unfinished documents on my scraped desk
    they remind me of why I hate who I am.
    The monsoon rain can’t stop
    and the beat never stops.

    If there ever was a sunny day,
    I wouldn’t know it.
    Because I wish to no longer be human.
    Because I wish to become one of the daemon?
    Because I am tired.
    Yes, I disagree with this life.

    Alas, I adjust my attire for my ruler
    as to not threaten the quality of this worthless value.
    Grabbing the documents, finished, I leave
    and enter my daily hell.
    These grey suits drain me
    These grey suits tempt me.

    I let go~

    If there ever was a sunny day,
    I didn’t live to see it.
    Because I was foolish.
    Because I was selfish.
    Because I was stupid.
    Yes, I loved this life,
    but I claimed it for the value of the taxman.
    Why would I do such a thing?
    Monsoon rains seem to understand.

    Photo by Ryunosuke Kikuno on Unsplash